Something I didn’t consider when I submitted my prompt was how uncomfortable it might feel to read my own story in someone else’s words the first time.
I’m so used to my story and what I experienced that it lost a lot of the immediate sharpness over time.
It all flooded back as I read this and realized it was my prompt you had received - but that means you did a really incredible job. Thank you. I loved the addition of the garden as the allegory. And I’m sitting here yearning a bit - wishing my “Ted” had been as lovely and kind to me as yours was to Elena.
And don’t worry - the second and third read throughs we’re not anywhere close to as uncomfortable as the first - by the third read through I was teary-eyed in a good way. (It was my own experience being told back to me in the first read through that hurt, not how you told it.)
Wow, this is such a beautiful thing to witness. I had hoped that some prompters would be moved to reach out to writers of their story. This is an exceptionally great story (I got a preview a couple of days back) and more evidence that horrible and tragic life experiences are usually the most fertile soil for stories to grow. Thanks to you both!
Thank you for 'coming out', I confessed too, but I haven't found any others doing this yet. I notice I really long to know, as the writer of someone else's experience, how it landed at the other end. Thank you for being open about it....
Nicely done! I tried to write a story some 20 year ago with root rot as the metaphor for a failed relationship. It wasn’t good. I couldn’t get it to come out right. And I saw later I was really pondering the coming end of my own marriage. I haven’t thought of it for years. Your story, on the other hand, is well written and the metaphor crafted in beautifully! Thanks to both you, J.E., and Amanda for this piece. :)
Thank you! I guess it’s true what they say about ideas floating in the collective unconscious, or the universal ether, or something, waiting for someone to breathe some life into them.
Do I write efficient dialogue? Anyway, I really wanted them to keep talking because they were getting close to something meaningful. They bailed too soon. But that's life, which is why this story was so good. And sad. Good sad.
I really like both characters. It's a nice change to read a story about a simple realisation without fault. Not really even a growing apart, but perhaps a bit of growing up. Noce writing :)
I was listening to this while feeding wood to the fire, and said "oh my god" at the same moment in the story you wrote it. Gave me a chuckle. And then realized how beautifully natural you made this. Amazing
This was fantastic. From the opening sentence I was pulled in by such a strong narrative voice. I've never read drunken dialog and thought patterns that felt more authentic and real. And those final lines are masterful. Excuse me while I go read it again!
Love the compassion here, and the poignant truth that sometimes love can’t overcome everything. You’ve packed a world into this tight little world; bravo.
Uffda.
Something I didn’t consider when I submitted my prompt was how uncomfortable it might feel to read my own story in someone else’s words the first time.
I’m so used to my story and what I experienced that it lost a lot of the immediate sharpness over time.
It all flooded back as I read this and realized it was my prompt you had received - but that means you did a really incredible job. Thank you. I loved the addition of the garden as the allegory. And I’m sitting here yearning a bit - wishing my “Ted” had been as lovely and kind to me as yours was to Elena.
And don’t worry - the second and third read throughs we’re not anywhere close to as uncomfortable as the first - by the third read through I was teary-eyed in a good way. (It was my own experience being told back to me in the first read through that hurt, not how you told it.)
You’re a really lovely story teller and writer!
This is the best compliment I could possibly have hoped for. Thank you for your story, thank you for your generosity in reading my treatment of it.
Wow, this is such a beautiful thing to witness. I had hoped that some prompters would be moved to reach out to writers of their story. This is an exceptionally great story (I got a preview a couple of days back) and more evidence that horrible and tragic life experiences are usually the most fertile soil for stories to grow. Thanks to you both!
Thank you for 'coming out', I confessed too, but I haven't found any others doing this yet. I notice I really long to know, as the writer of someone else's experience, how it landed at the other end. Thank you for being open about it....
Oh how cool to read your feedback.
Nicely done! I tried to write a story some 20 year ago with root rot as the metaphor for a failed relationship. It wasn’t good. I couldn’t get it to come out right. And I saw later I was really pondering the coming end of my own marriage. I haven’t thought of it for years. Your story, on the other hand, is well written and the metaphor crafted in beautifully! Thanks to both you, J.E., and Amanda for this piece. :)
Thank you! I guess it’s true what they say about ideas floating in the collective unconscious, or the universal ether, or something, waiting for someone to breathe some life into them.
I wanted them to keep talking.
You, with the painstakingly efficient dialogue?
Do I write efficient dialogue? Anyway, I really wanted them to keep talking because they were getting close to something meaningful. They bailed too soon. But that's life, which is why this story was so good. And sad. Good sad.
I really like both characters. It's a nice change to read a story about a simple realisation without fault. Not really even a growing apart, but perhaps a bit of growing up. Noce writing :)
Thank you!
Goddam typo 😂
Sorry, I'm not nearly that clever. But thank you 🙂
I was listening to this while feeding wood to the fire, and said "oh my god" at the same moment in the story you wrote it. Gave me a chuckle. And then realized how beautifully natural you made this. Amazing
Haha wonderful!
Wow, tight and compact. Very powerful sketch.....
Great writing. I really love the voice and the subtle humour.
He was starting to get it!
“And...so you want a divorce.”
He was not starting to get it.
Love that. And the body language throughout.
This was fantastic. From the opening sentence I was pulled in by such a strong narrative voice. I've never read drunken dialog and thought patterns that felt more authentic and real. And those final lines are masterful. Excuse me while I go read it again!
Excuse ME while I read this comment over and over again.
Love the compassion here, and the poignant truth that sometimes love can’t overcome everything. You’ve packed a world into this tight little world; bravo.
Fantastic, so glad Ben pointed it out...
God, I really felt this!
Great imagery and motion. I felt like I was there.