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Medha Murtagh's avatar

Read it all the way to the end and was disappointed when I ran out of story. Was shocked by the attack thing. I'm a new sub and this is the first one I have read and I now want to read the rest, so nice work by you!

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Sean Worsley's avatar

-People reply to the email notifications instead of commenting? I didn't even know you could do that!

-Why is it “Arch/Eternal” but the image is “Arc/Eternal” ?

-Maybe I’m a bit slower than other readers, but it took me a reread of the first little bit to understand what was happening. I think simply adding this to the beginning would help. Instead of:

"People keep saying, “What’s the problem? You’re a writer, aren’t you?” Yeah, I am…"

You could consider adding something like:

"People keep saying, “Hey Esther, what’s the problem? You’re a writer, aren’t you?” Yeah, I am…”

THAT way I would immediately know we are in her head without any friction at all.

-Also I really like Esther

-Is Adam based on….you?

-Two doctorates in Philosophy is a very fun detail that made me think way too much about all the great combinaseans that he may have done.

-Esther and Adam’s childhood sounds like a dream. No joke. This is what I always dreamed of but my parent’s couldn’t handle it. Such missed opportunity.

-Dour is the word of the week - thanks!

-Honestly kinda disappointed K&K didn’t become pro dancers immediately instead of more traditional boring athletes

-What a great story for getting banned from a team. Holy, I feel like I wasted my time in intramurals now

Super excited for next week!

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