Dang I was getting super hopeful we were gonna meet Sky in this chapter
Dude the Dark Side of the moon stuff here and in real life are crazy to think about.
“But it’s hard to mount a surprise attack if your enemy can see you coming for years.” = very funny.
DANG I at first thought it would be nicknamed “Pizza Planet” because of being pizza-like, but then I was convinces it was a play on the word “Priezh” and one of the characters was just going to give up saying it correctly and refer to it as Pizza.
But marinara surface + mozzarella clouds sounds good too. M favorite pizza is Margherita pizza, an I’ve never wanted to eat it so early in the morning before now. Thanks.
HECK YEAH auto translating devices baby! I often fantasize about the day these are viable here. So sick. Excited for training to commence!
Ok cool. So this is a nifty way to do multiple first person! Jack’s POV is much more organic, in real time in his heart and body, versus Esther’s more removed, epistilary interview delivery, cued by Sky’s questions and Esther’s sharp voice. It weaves gradually into her real time while automatically cuing us up front whose head this is. VERY cool. Seamless. Bravo.
“ my grief was stolen by grand galactic drama.“ This and Deek’s reaction is awesome. Because yup. That’s what happens, and I’m now 100% willing to deviate from the human personal reaction to the loss into the bigger story you’re telling. Esp the way Esther delivers it.
Picky-picky for your polishing mode:
—Space-opera(h) bullshit.
—spoiler alert: in your synopsis here you told us their destination: dark side of the moon. But I don’t think we knew until Rita explains it here. Just…you know. Until I read the synopsis, in my mind we could have been headed anywhere.
—super picky word crap: “we could see”—not only the filter word of “see” but also “could.” Instead of just “the landscape did such and such.” I only automatically notice this now because of how many “search all n destroy” rounds I perform to obliterate Evil Filter Words in my own stuff when I’m in polishing mode. 🙃
—many words like “well” and “oh” traditionally use a comma.
—we got Poe’s name before he was introduced.
—Hmmm… terms like “people” occasionally throw me when speaking of alien races. Or is this an efficient translation equivalent, kinda like Avatar’s The People? Or a specific choice by Rita to give respect/familiarity/warmth to these no doubt shocking beings on first glance? And do all the ones labeled “he/she” have this particular configuration? Esp because we’re in Rita’s dialogue and Esther’s future head, looking back, it feels very human-centric whereas I’d imagine she’s not by the time she’s telling us these things. Jack’s real time head—it makes total sense.
I’m intrigued by your choice to put Terran translation into italics, instead of Poe’s foreign-to-us words. *Spockly eyebrow* Fascinating… When on Priezh… 🤓🧐🤩
What a visceral reaction to too many stars! I felt that one. I’m not a tech geek—not at all my wheelbase. So don’t look to me for accuracy, but as the clueless body-based Artiste dancer-girl, the spaceship, alien world, and travel make sense to me. Im super excited that you’re using zero-point. I goggle and grin with imagining!
Thanks for the notes, as always. Delighted that perspective is so clear chapter to chapter.
The positioning of "aliens" in this narrative is a bit different that the standard models, and the ambiguity is reflected in the way the characters talk about them. But also: it's all still getting sorted out in my own brain, which certainly doesn't help clarify anything.
Ohhhhh I see. MUAhahaha...well I'm just the sort to come along the journey, nodding all the way. Indeed...because technically the humans are the aliens now so...yeah, I'm looking forward to getting more of this shifted perspective.
Oooh I love a worldbuilding-heavy chapter like this! The info was delivered very well too, it didn't feel like too much tell at any point & I'm excited to learn more about this new planet.
I wonder how you went about researching all this? Being in the middle of my own space opera novel, I'd appreciate any tips. ^^; Your choice of propulsion, for example, is quite interesting...
I’m so glad you’re enjoying it! My approach to world-building has been pretty haphazard. Im trying very hard to ground this stuff in some feasible reality, while taking plenty of liberties in the areas where I’m totally ignorant. The “ripple drive,” for instance, is basically a Frankensteinian amalgamation of ideas from other sci-fi books and my own limited understanding of physics.
I see! It read quite believable to a non-scientist like me. Tbh, I'm very tempted to just write up a basic 'resources for sci-fi writers' article (websites, youtube, podcasts, books etc.) on my Substack & encourage people to leave additional ones in the comments...
Dang I was getting super hopeful we were gonna meet Sky in this chapter
Dude the Dark Side of the moon stuff here and in real life are crazy to think about.
“But it’s hard to mount a surprise attack if your enemy can see you coming for years.” = very funny.
DANG I at first thought it would be nicknamed “Pizza Planet” because of being pizza-like, but then I was convinces it was a play on the word “Priezh” and one of the characters was just going to give up saying it correctly and refer to it as Pizza.
But marinara surface + mozzarella clouds sounds good too. M favorite pizza is Margherita pizza, an I’ve never wanted to eat it so early in the morning before now. Thanks.
HECK YEAH auto translating devices baby! I often fantasize about the day these are viable here. So sick. Excited for training to commence!
Ok cool. So this is a nifty way to do multiple first person! Jack’s POV is much more organic, in real time in his heart and body, versus Esther’s more removed, epistilary interview delivery, cued by Sky’s questions and Esther’s sharp voice. It weaves gradually into her real time while automatically cuing us up front whose head this is. VERY cool. Seamless. Bravo.
“ my grief was stolen by grand galactic drama.“ This and Deek’s reaction is awesome. Because yup. That’s what happens, and I’m now 100% willing to deviate from the human personal reaction to the loss into the bigger story you’re telling. Esp the way Esther delivers it.
Picky-picky for your polishing mode:
—Space-opera(h) bullshit.
—spoiler alert: in your synopsis here you told us their destination: dark side of the moon. But I don’t think we knew until Rita explains it here. Just…you know. Until I read the synopsis, in my mind we could have been headed anywhere.
—super picky word crap: “we could see”—not only the filter word of “see” but also “could.” Instead of just “the landscape did such and such.” I only automatically notice this now because of how many “search all n destroy” rounds I perform to obliterate Evil Filter Words in my own stuff when I’m in polishing mode. 🙃
—many words like “well” and “oh” traditionally use a comma.
—we got Poe’s name before he was introduced.
—Hmmm… terms like “people” occasionally throw me when speaking of alien races. Or is this an efficient translation equivalent, kinda like Avatar’s The People? Or a specific choice by Rita to give respect/familiarity/warmth to these no doubt shocking beings on first glance? And do all the ones labeled “he/she” have this particular configuration? Esp because we’re in Rita’s dialogue and Esther’s future head, looking back, it feels very human-centric whereas I’d imagine she’s not by the time she’s telling us these things. Jack’s real time head—it makes total sense.
I’m intrigued by your choice to put Terran translation into italics, instead of Poe’s foreign-to-us words. *Spockly eyebrow* Fascinating… When on Priezh… 🤓🧐🤩
What a visceral reaction to too many stars! I felt that one. I’m not a tech geek—not at all my wheelbase. So don’t look to me for accuracy, but as the clueless body-based Artiste dancer-girl, the spaceship, alien world, and travel make sense to me. Im super excited that you’re using zero-point. I goggle and grin with imagining!
Thanks for the notes, as always. Delighted that perspective is so clear chapter to chapter.
The positioning of "aliens" in this narrative is a bit different that the standard models, and the ambiguity is reflected in the way the characters talk about them. But also: it's all still getting sorted out in my own brain, which certainly doesn't help clarify anything.
Full disclosure: I am only a tech geek pretender.
Ohhhhh I see. MUAhahaha...well I'm just the sort to come along the journey, nodding all the way. Indeed...because technically the humans are the aliens now so...yeah, I'm looking forward to getting more of this shifted perspective.
Oooh I love a worldbuilding-heavy chapter like this! The info was delivered very well too, it didn't feel like too much tell at any point & I'm excited to learn more about this new planet.
I wonder how you went about researching all this? Being in the middle of my own space opera novel, I'd appreciate any tips. ^^; Your choice of propulsion, for example, is quite interesting...
I’m so glad you’re enjoying it! My approach to world-building has been pretty haphazard. Im trying very hard to ground this stuff in some feasible reality, while taking plenty of liberties in the areas where I’m totally ignorant. The “ripple drive,” for instance, is basically a Frankensteinian amalgamation of ideas from other sci-fi books and my own limited understanding of physics.
I see! It read quite believable to a non-scientist like me. Tbh, I'm very tempted to just write up a basic 'resources for sci-fi writers' article (websites, youtube, podcasts, books etc.) on my Substack & encourage people to leave additional ones in the comments...
I think that's a great idea! Do it!