I’m with Brian: I want the recipe! But ah, the drinking questions are interesting. I’ve had a long relationship with alcohol, which I have until fairly recently viewed as unabashedly positive. I very rarely drink to excess, but for many, many years enjoyed a drink or two almost every night of my life, usually beer but for some stretches gin or bourbon, mixed in cocktails. But problems cropped up over time: I grew to feel somewhat dependent on my evening drink, and in times of stress, felt that I really had to have that drink in the evening. I don’t like to be dependent on anything, so this bugged me. And as I’ve grown older, the negative affects of alcohol (poor sleep, fuzzy head, frequent urination) just really started to get to me. When my wife broke her wrist before Christmas she stopped drinking altogether (not for the reasons you’d think), and I joined her. And one month in I have to say, I like myself better without alcohol. That answer was too bloody long, but you asked ...
Long answers are literally my favorite. Both to give and to get.
I've been casually interested in the extended time horizons of different people's relationship to alcohol for a number of years, as the term of my perspective grows longer with each passing year. And I won't deny it's been gratifying to see a number of stories like yours.
For the record, I feel pretty much the same way about caffeine. The widespread consumption of both "substances" seems to be the byproduct of the consumerist culture, rather than a function of the innate quality of either.
Once you learn to tolerate the flavor of alcohol (clearly, something you never did, to your credit) I do think you get to experience the signal “benefit” of alcohol, which is an immediate and very soothing sense of release. For me, that really pleasant side effect lasts usually into the second beer, at which point it starts to become a mixed bag--meaning, the loss of control and inhibition gets to be too much if you’re a person who prizes self-control and probity. And the follow-on effects are a pain. I commend you for never playing the game. You’re not really missing much. As for caffeine ...
I began drinking in earnest to sit around the fire and evangelize. This was when I worked in the gift shop on Maine’s most popular island during the week and preached in a campground amphitheater on Sundays. The next year I volunteered with AmeriCorps NCCC and discovered the virtuous helpers who paused their lives for ten months to hammer with Habitat and tutor at-risk youth and clear trails in off-seasons and assist recovery after floods, well, on weekends - they drank a lot! And I was there with them and wanted to cry and celebrate and hope and despair and doing so without a drink just felt weird :)
My distaste for alcohol started in eighth grade. Because that's when my friends started drinking!! And the fact that I wasn't drinking translated to me not being able to "hang" with them anymore. That pissed me right the fuck off. I continued not to drink (and to have very few friends because of that) until my sophomore year of high school when I fell in with an accepting group of upper classmen who dug my straight edge style and invited me to parties and were totally cool with me showing up with IBC root beer in tow. I didn't drink at all in college (except for a few sips of wine and a white Russian or two while I was studying abroad in London. I turned 21 that year but it wasn't a thing for me. I don't like drunk people. And can be really mean to them if they make the mistake of talking to me while they're drunk. Like, really mean. I dabbled with fancy beer for a while. Stouts were my favorite. But I never could drink more than one. My go-to wedding drink was a gin and tonic with extra lime. And if I didn't have to drive, I'd get a dirty gin martini with EXTRA olives (drink and appetizer in one!). But I never liked feeling intoxicated. Okay. The early part when your gums feel tingly is fun, but once my head starts swimming, I'm done. Never been sick from drinking. Never been hungover. I had two kids, so my tolerance dropped to zero and now I drink rarely to never. With the exception of the occasional pre-dinner glass of cheap ass white box wine mixed with Polar Orange Dry. I call it a Poor Writer's White Sangria. It's yummy. And it fuels my dance moves while I'm cooking.
Was that long enough for you?
Thanks for providing such a fun topic of discussion. I'm only sorry we can't discuss this further over chocolate cake. Cheers.
Alright, you've just opened the floodgates, and I've got questions. First and foremost, where does one acquire the recipe for this delicacy? Second, I have not heard of wine paired with chocolate cake, so where did this pairing originate? Third, if I may be so bold, what are the cultural-religious reasons?
1.) I await the delicious instructions for baking this masterpiece.
2.) That's so much work, but I'm going to search anyway because I have to know.
3.) Ah, okay.
On a secondary note, I enjoy wine every so often, but it must be paired with something incredibly delicious because I don't want to waste calories at my age. I already have enough trouble as it is trying to lose weight. If I'm going to blow those calories it has to be on something like... a decadent chocolate coffee cake 😁
-I'll go one further --> I hate carbonation, which means no soda either
Weird post.script?
LOVE distilled white vinegar. You know, the stuff you have in a closet or under the sink to clean the grout on your tile floors? And you might be thinking "Oh, like you put it in your salads?"
No, I mean I like to drink it. Not like 2tbsp of Apple Cider with "The Mother" (Though I do drink that straight all the time for health). I drink a lot of it. Sometimes I add some table salt to spice things up.
And FINE I will admit that sometimes I put it on green apples. But I like to core/peel the apple first and pull it up like an accordion so when I layer it with vinegar it---you know what? Probably TMI, so I'll stop there. If you wanna know more, let me make you one. Real offer. You'll like it. And if not, I'll just eat it and drink the leftovers.
(You'd think I'd like 100+ proof liquor!)
Anyway, when I revealed this to my old dentist they told me that I will die soon and without teeth if I keep drinking vinegar. So I have a new dentist.
I'm pretty sure I've had that cake, once in my twenties (or something very close). The BEST. And love the description: "immaculate confection." Brilliant!
As for wine itself, I had to stop drinking for health reasons many years ago (too many sugars for my system) and, while I did miss it a bit at first, I have no desire to drink it now. I've always thought it's like smoking cigarettes--you have to push past your body's own rejection of the substance and persist until you are used to it. Funny how most people don't heed the body's initial message and just stop before they begin.
It's surprisingly hard to find perfect chocolate cake! My wife always says (and I agree) that when it's done right, it's the best possible dessert, but when it isn't done right, it's basically not worth eating.
We don't like to think our decisions are almost entirely dictated by the prevailing dispositions of our peers, but it's true. The only reason I'm not a drinker is because the people who raised me weren't drinkers, and many of my closest friends in high school weren't either. It wouldn't be reasonable for me to pretend it was some kind of early conviction. That's sort of what it's become, but without the baggage of judgement for people who were conditioned by different (more common) circumstances. People drink because people drink. Most of our behavior is tautological. Thankfully, though, we are capable of sometimes taking the reins of our agency back into our hands to find a better path for ourselves than the raging river of cultural inertia.
Yes to your wife's ideas about chocolate cake! And I agree--so much of what we do is learned, and we take it for granted that it's simply "how we are." But luckily, humans are adaptable and can change.
I’m with Brian: I want the recipe! But ah, the drinking questions are interesting. I’ve had a long relationship with alcohol, which I have until fairly recently viewed as unabashedly positive. I very rarely drink to excess, but for many, many years enjoyed a drink or two almost every night of my life, usually beer but for some stretches gin or bourbon, mixed in cocktails. But problems cropped up over time: I grew to feel somewhat dependent on my evening drink, and in times of stress, felt that I really had to have that drink in the evening. I don’t like to be dependent on anything, so this bugged me. And as I’ve grown older, the negative affects of alcohol (poor sleep, fuzzy head, frequent urination) just really started to get to me. When my wife broke her wrist before Christmas she stopped drinking altogether (not for the reasons you’d think), and I joined her. And one month in I have to say, I like myself better without alcohol. That answer was too bloody long, but you asked ...
Oh, and by the way, really liked your story.
Long answers are literally my favorite. Both to give and to get.
I've been casually interested in the extended time horizons of different people's relationship to alcohol for a number of years, as the term of my perspective grows longer with each passing year. And I won't deny it's been gratifying to see a number of stories like yours.
For the record, I feel pretty much the same way about caffeine. The widespread consumption of both "substances" seems to be the byproduct of the consumerist culture, rather than a function of the innate quality of either.
Once you learn to tolerate the flavor of alcohol (clearly, something you never did, to your credit) I do think you get to experience the signal “benefit” of alcohol, which is an immediate and very soothing sense of release. For me, that really pleasant side effect lasts usually into the second beer, at which point it starts to become a mixed bag--meaning, the loss of control and inhibition gets to be too much if you’re a person who prizes self-control and probity. And the follow-on effects are a pain. I commend you for never playing the game. You’re not really missing much. As for caffeine ...
Haha! I’m so prone to suggestion, this post made me pour myself a beer :)
I began drinking in earnest to sit around the fire and evangelize. This was when I worked in the gift shop on Maine’s most popular island during the week and preached in a campground amphitheater on Sundays. The next year I volunteered with AmeriCorps NCCC and discovered the virtuous helpers who paused their lives for ten months to hammer with Habitat and tutor at-risk youth and clear trails in off-seasons and assist recovery after floods, well, on weekends - they drank a lot! And I was there with them and wanted to cry and celebrate and hope and despair and doing so without a drink just felt weird :)
That was then. Now? Haha! I just like the taste. Malty, caramely, yum. The kinds the monks brew to make it through their months long fasts :)
I loved this story. Here's mine.
My distaste for alcohol started in eighth grade. Because that's when my friends started drinking!! And the fact that I wasn't drinking translated to me not being able to "hang" with them anymore. That pissed me right the fuck off. I continued not to drink (and to have very few friends because of that) until my sophomore year of high school when I fell in with an accepting group of upper classmen who dug my straight edge style and invited me to parties and were totally cool with me showing up with IBC root beer in tow. I didn't drink at all in college (except for a few sips of wine and a white Russian or two while I was studying abroad in London. I turned 21 that year but it wasn't a thing for me. I don't like drunk people. And can be really mean to them if they make the mistake of talking to me while they're drunk. Like, really mean. I dabbled with fancy beer for a while. Stouts were my favorite. But I never could drink more than one. My go-to wedding drink was a gin and tonic with extra lime. And if I didn't have to drive, I'd get a dirty gin martini with EXTRA olives (drink and appetizer in one!). But I never liked feeling intoxicated. Okay. The early part when your gums feel tingly is fun, but once my head starts swimming, I'm done. Never been sick from drinking. Never been hungover. I had two kids, so my tolerance dropped to zero and now I drink rarely to never. With the exception of the occasional pre-dinner glass of cheap ass white box wine mixed with Polar Orange Dry. I call it a Poor Writer's White Sangria. It's yummy. And it fuels my dance moves while I'm cooking.
Was that long enough for you?
Thanks for providing such a fun topic of discussion. I'm only sorry we can't discuss this further over chocolate cake. Cheers.
Alright, you've just opened the floodgates, and I've got questions. First and foremost, where does one acquire the recipe for this delicacy? Second, I have not heard of wine paired with chocolate cake, so where did this pairing originate? Third, if I may be so bold, what are the cultural-religious reasons?
1. I'll see if I can track the recipe down and send it to you! My wife (name changed) is a goddess of baking.
2. Google it!
3. I'm a Mormon :)
1.) I await the delicious instructions for baking this masterpiece.
2.) That's so much work, but I'm going to search anyway because I have to know.
3.) Ah, okay.
On a secondary note, I enjoy wine every so often, but it must be paired with something incredibly delicious because I don't want to waste calories at my age. I already have enough trouble as it is trying to lose weight. If I'm going to blow those calories it has to be on something like... a decadent chocolate coffee cake 😁
Amen! "Wasting calories" is definitely a thing that people in their 20s and early 30s don't appreciate.
K ready for the most boring comment ever?
-Don't really like chocolate cake
-Similar distaste for strong smell of alcohol
-I'll go one further --> I hate carbonation, which means no soda either
Weird post.script?
LOVE distilled white vinegar. You know, the stuff you have in a closet or under the sink to clean the grout on your tile floors? And you might be thinking "Oh, like you put it in your salads?"
No, I mean I like to drink it. Not like 2tbsp of Apple Cider with "The Mother" (Though I do drink that straight all the time for health). I drink a lot of it. Sometimes I add some table salt to spice things up.
And FINE I will admit that sometimes I put it on green apples. But I like to core/peel the apple first and pull it up like an accordion so when I layer it with vinegar it---you know what? Probably TMI, so I'll stop there. If you wanna know more, let me make you one. Real offer. You'll like it. And if not, I'll just eat it and drink the leftovers.
(You'd think I'd like 100+ proof liquor!)
Anyway, when I revealed this to my old dentist they told me that I will die soon and without teeth if I keep drinking vinegar. So I have a new dentist.
It's hard to know how to respond to this. I'd hate to wind up like your first dentist.
I'm pretty sure I've had that cake, once in my twenties (or something very close). The BEST. And love the description: "immaculate confection." Brilliant!
As for wine itself, I had to stop drinking for health reasons many years ago (too many sugars for my system) and, while I did miss it a bit at first, I have no desire to drink it now. I've always thought it's like smoking cigarettes--you have to push past your body's own rejection of the substance and persist until you are used to it. Funny how most people don't heed the body's initial message and just stop before they begin.
It's surprisingly hard to find perfect chocolate cake! My wife always says (and I agree) that when it's done right, it's the best possible dessert, but when it isn't done right, it's basically not worth eating.
We don't like to think our decisions are almost entirely dictated by the prevailing dispositions of our peers, but it's true. The only reason I'm not a drinker is because the people who raised me weren't drinkers, and many of my closest friends in high school weren't either. It wouldn't be reasonable for me to pretend it was some kind of early conviction. That's sort of what it's become, but without the baggage of judgement for people who were conditioned by different (more common) circumstances. People drink because people drink. Most of our behavior is tautological. Thankfully, though, we are capable of sometimes taking the reins of our agency back into our hands to find a better path for ourselves than the raging river of cultural inertia.
Yes to your wife's ideas about chocolate cake! And I agree--so much of what we do is learned, and we take it for granted that it's simply "how we are." But luckily, humans are adaptable and can change.