The Three Stooges Syndrome

And how to get past it

There’s a scene from The Simpsons that I think about a lot (there are a lot of scenes from The Simpsons that I think about a lot), where Mr. Burns gets the results of some medical testing you know what I’m just gonna have you watch it.

Aaand now you understand the title of this post.

The Three Stooges Syndrome

The circumstance that so frequently calls this scene to mind is one with which you might also be familiar: trying to do too many things, so that no one thing ends up getting done.

I’d like now to name my Stooges for you:

• The “Fiction v Nonfiction” series. After I published the first post, I had the great insane idea that I would publish a new one every Monday for as long as it took to put together enough material for a book.

• My novel. I’ve been meaning to write up a post about this behemoth project, which already represents a quantity of effort and time I can scarcely grasp. But I haven’t, and I don’t know when I will. Every time I sit down to work on it, I seem to make less progress than the time before. Anyway, the point is, it’s a big stooge.

• Past short stories. I’ve still got a handful that I want to prepare for publishing here, but I haven’t spared the bandwidth to do so. Instead, they wait patiently in the proverbial drawer.

• A bona fide paid gig. A few months ago, I agreed to help devise the lore and write the backstory for an NFT project, which then turned into a 10-part novella. I’ve been wanting to tell you about it, but I haven’t. Partly because it’s not finished yet (I’ve got two parts left to write), but mostly because it’s just another stooge.

• An actual nonfiction book. Almost exactly two years ago, I wrote more than 20,000 words on one subject, burned out, and abandoned it. A couple weeks ago, I dug what I’d written back up and decided I was going to turn it into an actual book. There will be a post about this very soon, but it’s hard to say when it’ll shoulder past all the other stooges.

• The short script for an audio drama. You’re going to hear all about this on Friday.

• A feature? A pilot? Anyway I had this super slick high concept that I worked on for a couple of weeks last month and then abandoned because… I mean do I need to explain?

The Solution

It’s always the same:

1. Pick something.

2. Finish it.

3. Pick another thing.

A few days ago, I picked the audio drama, because that’s part of a larger plan that has some urgency on it. Now that it’s done, I’m going back to the nonfiction book, because it is also part of a concrete plan, and the sooner I get the book out into the world, the better. When I need a break from writing nonfiction, I’ll spare some bandwidth to prepare something for Fiction Fridays.

In the meantime, the novel is going to have to wait, and so are the “Fiction v Nonfiction” posts, and so are all the other sexy new ideas that try to tempt me away from finishing things.

Because while the Three Stooges Syndrome might be keeping Mr. Burns alive, it’s killing me. I’ve got to get more Stooges through the door.