The First Official Dispatches Status Report
Plus a birthday request from me because it's my birthday.
If you’re new here, you should know that we’re taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming to publish the first official…
Dispatches Status Report
Lots of Substackers I read and admire occasionally pull back the curtain to show what’s happening behind the scenes (posts?). This always gives me a little thrill, so I figured you might get one, too, if I did the same thing.
First, the content
I promised at the outset that I’d share fiction on Fridays — either a serialized novella, a one-off short story, or an excerpt from a novel. With the exception of a couple of weeks around the holidays, I am genuinely proud to say I’ve kept that commitment.
As for nonfictional things, I haven’t been as consistent. I feel…conflicted about this. There are hundreds of unwritten essays in my brain, dozens of half-written ones on my hard drive, and at least five in my drafts on this very platform.
The evidence seems to show that it’s just harder for me to cross the finish line with nonfiction. I might like to shift the ratio a bit in the future, but who knows.
Anyway, here’s a fun pie chart:
Not bad! Though, those numbers are slightly misleading. I didn’t, for instance, publish 16 novellas — I published TWO novellas over a total of 16 posts. And I split a couple of those short stories into more than one part, which would bring that number down to 12 or 13.
But whatever, it’s still a lot.
Enough that I’m planning to start re-surfacing old posts soon, so that new subscribers get the opportunity to enjoy some old hits.
Speaking of which…
Subscriber count
Dispatch #1 went out to 50 people.
Since then, that number has grown to 164, as you can see in this pleasing linear graph:
So far, I haven’t spent a whole lot of effort to get new subscribers, other than shamelessly begging you to share things now and again.
SPEAKING OF WHICH…
Happy Birthday to Me
I’m 38 today. I know it’s a boring one, you don’t have to tell me. Not that you would, you’re way too thoughtful.
And that’s why you’re so stressed that you’re just now finding out that it’s my birthday. You’re all like, “Oh man, I wish I had known I totally would have done something to make it special!”
Well GUESS. WHAT.
It’s not too late!
The Gift of Giving
For my birthday, I would like you to get at least one other person to subscribe to Dispatches from Inner Space.
You know how some people virtue signal on Facebook with posts that say “all I want for my birthday is for you to donate money to this charity I care about”?
This is sort of like that, but with just a couple of superficial differences.
Instead of:
a) giving money (that has virtually infinite utility) to
b) a good cause (which will improve the world in a tangible way),
I want you to :
a) share Dispatches from Inner Space (which has virtually no utility), by
b) inviting someone to subscribe (which will not improve the world in a tangible way).
In order to make this gift as easy as possible for you to give, here’s something you can copy and paste into an email, DM, or text:
Greetings [dear friend / close family member / distant business associate]! Have you heard of Dispatches from Inner Space? It’s this rad new Substack that’s totally blowing up right now, where you can read (vaguely) science fiction and (sometimes) inspirational essays! Check it out — [insert your favorite post here]
Three good options from the fiction stack:
Shadowloss - The first of a 7-part novella about a man who loses his shadow
Funeral at Port Early - Action pulp with a gruesome and satisfying conclusion
The New Ten Commandments - Pop-philosophy via comedic short fiction
Three of the best essays:
Everything Is (Not) Entertainment - Escaping the Brave New World with fiction
The Three Stooges Syndrome - How to deal with too many passion projects
Shut Up and Start Driving - The difference between talking and doing
If you really want to, I suppose you could also share something from Arch/Eternal. But the objective here is to get someone to subscribe, not to drop fifty thousand words of philosophical science fiction on unsuspecting acquaintances.
But whatever! Pick whatever you think will convince your chosen mark dear friend to subscribe. Then come back here and brag about it in the comments.
Because, as we all know, a gift isn’t worth anything if it doesn’t glorify the giver.
The First Official Dispatches Status Report
Happy birthday. You're still a baby. That explains a lot. 🤪 You forgot "Suicidal Intelligence". That piece rocked my world. Yes, I will share it. It's saved in my library for quick access and repeat exposure. 💛 I'm giving friendship hearts now because the stupid internet told me I was inadvertently sending lusty messages to internet acquaintances by sending red and purple ones. 🧁
Done! Happy Birthday!
PS: this link should be on your FB page for dinosaur readers like myself. ;-)